I had a moment with an oak leaf

Today I had my first official work meeting. They took my urine, took my blood, and gave me a shot. I fear my TB skin test may be positive due to my travels to the orient.

Well I was working with Catholic nuns in South East Asia, one lady loved to yell at us like we were experts at washing clothes in the third world. She would tell us we were doing it all wrong and steal the clothes from us. It was really frustrating until we found out that she indeed loved to play tag. We chased her through rows of hanging laundry, laughing and learning a little more about life. Her English was very rough. At one point she took cough medicine and told me that she had the "coughing disease". My heart was crushed at that moment.

However, I recently graduated from college with a BS in Biologically Chemistry. As I walked home from work today. I was truly glad to be where I am at. I had a moment filled with joy. A moment I would not have dreamed of having in a car. For a second, I thought "All you suckers in your cars, you can't even see the world." Without thinking, I ripped an oak leaf off the tree. I always did that when I was a child and I had to walk home from school. I turned over the leaf to see it's beautiful vascular system of inter-connected tubes. I have spent hours studying this very little thing. I did not look at the leaf like a child even if I grabbed it like one. I don't think it is very often that we have a moment in which we noticed that we have changed. These are fleeting tiny moments and then we wake up different somehow.

This is a season of transition for me. I have a degree, a new job, and the hopes of becoming a doctor. If I said I was not scared, I would be a liar. But to be completely honest, I believe I am exactly where God has called me to be. I believe that God fought for me to get here and I know that He still cares about people. My every hope is authored by God. I do not wish to talk a lot about God in my blogging. I wanted to focus mostly on funny things I observe in life. But to ignore the fact that I got a nice job in a horrible economy, after completing a very difficult degree. Having 20 dollars in my pocket and absolutely no savings, I was taken care of. Money came, shelter came, and food came. I prayed to the Lord and in a world of self-reliant empty shattered people, I can say that the Lord heard me and provided. I feel that the Lord is just wishing that more of His people would ask Him for help. So this is the part where I ask for your prayer request. I promise I will ask the Lord.

-MJ

My Last Day of College/ Boy Ranting... feel free not to read guys...

My pencil touched the last bubble-filling document today. I have barely had the time to blog lately because life is passing at warp speed. My last final was extremely easy and I was almost disappointed in a way. I put my pencil down and looked at the scantron. I wanted to yell, "Is that all you got scantron?" But I refrained by cautionary common sense.

Today I will be packing up my life again and moving out of my dorm. I am the worst packer ever. I usually wait until someone forces me too. It takes me forever to decide what is really that important. Do I toss that notebook of death?* What about all of the notebooks filled with hours of writing of scientific facts. I spent a large chunk of college writing out scientific facts for sake of memory. This text is useless as my handwriting is impossible to read when written after 3 am.

Yesterday, I spent some quality time with a new friend I was convinced I might kidnap. After yesterday... I am definitely kidnapping him and keeping him. He is too much fun as a person but can tend to be a bit snarky.

Snowel here is your boy rant, enjoy!!!!

I was told that I must rant about boys. I guess I have some advice for all the ladies out there. So males don't read this part. A friend of mine was complaining to me about a certain guy causing her to wait around for hours while he hung out with his guy friends, probably washed his hair, wrote a novel, and probably watched paint dry. Now, I kind of got pretty mad for my friend. When we like a guy, we tend to make excuses for their disrespect. We tend to take this burden upon ourselves. I know because I am pre-med and have dated guys that did not respect this calling. They say they are supportive of you but they don't think about the time and dedication it takes to become a doctor. I have dated guys who made me feel guilty for studying. I am have dated guys that just complain and complain. They never dreamed of ambition so big and have no clue how to work hard. This may or may not be the reason why I am single. I have made the mistake of thinking that I was so in love that I need to sacrifice large chunks of time. Well we see how good that worked out.

The point is not that I am bitter. It's quite the opposite. I have been in a lot of different relationships and I have learned from everyone. I do not regret dating any of those guys. I do regret the way I did not respect myself and I wish I would have stood up for my passions in life. I wish I had not pretended to be what the guy at the moment wanted. I cannot change any of that but I can warn my fellow ladies. There are guys out there who will care enough to study you. They will care enough to invest in all that you are and you will do the same for them. Love is never fake. If it is faked, it may seem wonderful until one day its not and its over. These moments are some of the most painful. When you hear words like, "I will love you for the rest of your life." and "I wish to marry you someday.", etc, and those things never happen, the fallout some people never recover from. The amount of pain you fill is really indicative of how much you really did love.

I think the big way to know if the guy is a faker is too see if he respects you in the small stuff. If you can trust him with a little, you may be able to trust him in larger things. This may be a slow process but you should really care enough about that person to take the time. They are a gift to you. Enjoy the journey, stop rushing to the alter.

I guess I won't get my ring by spring ... my life is so hard.

I've got two days to meet a guy and fall madly in love...

-MJ